the big “V” (updated)

update: i simply fixed some typos ———- the big “V”:: yep, that’s V as in vasectomy. it’s taken a lot of “inner wrestling” for me to get to this decision but i’ll be getting the “snip snip” this summer. i’ve already had my initial visit with my doctor. although because of the way the insurance i have through the school is set up it was only to get a referral to a urology specialist. well the place i got referred to set me up a “consultation” visit for July 24th. we were hoping to get it done sooner, like this weekend or next. it’s funny deb’s never been more on edge thinking she may get pregnant right after delivery than this time. she really doesn’t want to get pregnant again. … I couldn’t imagine life without any one of them. so having mentioned those two things let me also say that I don’t believe that in order to truly believe that kids are a gift from God means that a family should keep having kids forever or until the wife goes through menopause. for some families that is the case, for most families I would say it simply means have more kids than what your “man made plans” says you should. trust God, his plans are different than ours. and yes, perhaps a small part of me would still like a son. but I’d’s not only about what I want. (in terms of my decision to get a vasectomy or not, this aspect was probably a factor for only about 10% of it.) so ultimately the reason I chose to go through with it is out of love for my wife. although she also believes that kids are a gift, she also felt that she/we had reached our threshold as parents in terms of adequately raising our kids. not about the financial side of things, we know God would provide no matter what. but more in terms of being able to give each of our kids the individual attention they need and deserve. on top of that it’s just plain tough to try to raise 6 young kids! … when he had me and my sisters. and then another minor issue was the cost. now I know that the guy’s procedure is less expensive than the woman’s. but deb has been covered by the state’s medical coverage while pregnant and would cover the procedure for her entirely. a quick phone call to my insurance let me know that they covered the procedure for the guy in full except for the $15 copay. a small price to pay since the woman ends up needing more recovery time than the guy anyways. but in the end it was my love for my wife that convinced me. if i loved deb fully then i shouldn’t be thinking about the “what if” scenario at all. if i truly loved her then even if she did die i shouldn’t be thinking about starting another family, i’d still have my current 6 kids to take care of and those relationships should supersede any relationship i would develop later for another woman. if i truly loved my wife, then out of respect for her i should put aside any small desire i might have for a son and realize that she’s at her limit in terms of child rearing. if i truly loved her then i should face my fears like a man about having “minor surgery” (guys, as you know, any surgery so close to your manliness, can’t be deemed as minor). and if i truly loved my wife, no matter what the cost, i should try to spare my wife from going through a surgery that’s more involved and more recovery time than what i would have to go through. and so yes, i’m having the big “V” done some time this summer out of love for my wife. i love you deb. —————————- // today i’m thankful for: 1. sunsets 2. changing weather 3. all my girls 4. when people leave COMMENTS!

booths

our church is somewhat nontraditional, at least compared to the idea I have of most traditional churches. first of all both of the paid pastoral staff are bi-occupational (ironically we both work at middle schools for our second jobs). we wear casual clothes on Sunday mornings, even on Easter none of the staff wore neckties. …

a song, a car, a mac, and mothers

we had a busy day today. this video is actually from anna’s concert on tuesday. some cute stuff.– – – – – – – – – –today we both had eye appointments. and then after school we went “van shopping”. we’re anticipating out tax stimulus check tomorrow, so we thought we’d start looking today. we …