check your eyes

i have heard it said: 

“before the wedding, couples should have their eyes wide open. and afterwards they should have them half shut.”

what does this mean?

it’s a warning to single’s to not dive headlong into a relationship with out “seeing” or knowing the other person’s character, the good and the bad.  

does he give too much attention to sports? does she spend too much money? is he a man who keeps is promises? does she have a heart of humility? does he treat his mother with honor? does she have a good relationship with her dad?

all of these are indicators of potential blessings or pitfalls in marriage.

on the other hand, once you’re already married are you still looking for his/her faults? the answer should be “NO”.  now you may be “right” about a particular subject or decision. you may have not grown up doing things the same way as your spouse (and obviously any moron should know your way is the right way).

but in trying to win the argument, are you instead losing a friendship, connection, and love? in trying to look better than them, are you making them look like an idiot, a fool, or just plain uncaring?  and if so, what does that say about you for marrying such a person?

i’m not saying that you should be blind to your spouse’s faults. what i am saying is that there’s a proper way to bring those up to them in a constructive way, and in public is not one of them.  also remember for every finger you point towards your partner, your hand is pointing 3 fingers back at you.

to put it all into context repeat the following phrase the next time you catch yourself finding fault with your spouse (say it out loud if you have to):

My spouse did not marry me to intentionally drive me crazy, disappoint me, or ridicule me. And I did not marry them to intentionally drive them crazy, disappoint them, or ridicule them.

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