anyone who’s married knows that it takes a lot of work to make it a successful, happy, thriving relationship. our natural tendency is towards selfishness, not towards serving.
there’s been excellent books written on the “love languages”; words, touch, service, gifts, & time. and regardless of whether ‘service’ makes it into your top one or two love languages, there’s no denying that it will be a part of your relationship at some time or another.
no matter what your top language is or what your partner’s top language is; you must intentionally “serve” that other person by speaking their language to them instead of your top language.
so to that end i’ve developed a method for me to combat my selfishness.
do you remember in The Princess Bride how Westley wouldn’t say the words “i love you” to Buttercup. instead whenever she asked him to do anything he would say, “as you wish”. and finally she realized that in his heart whenever he said those words he was actually meaning, “i love you.”
in like manner, when deb asks me to do something i think in my head, “yes, i’ll (fill in the blank) , did you know that means ‘i love you’ in russian?”
“abe, can you empty the kitty litter?”
“yesill changeit” – (translated means “i love you” in russian)
“abe, go get the baby” (at 3am)
“okhere igo” – (translated means “i love you” in russian)
“abe, i’m going to the store, can you finish loading the dishwasher”
“oksure” – (translated means “i love you” in russian)
so that’s how i combat my selfishness. oh and in case you’re wondering, you can find out how to actually say “I love you” in russian at Say I love you in Russian!