Parenting | theacousticlife.com

Oct 7 2009

Raising Royalty

deblara

As a mother or a father, do you ever feel like you’re floundering with the responsibility of raising your children? Do you have a clear strategy regarding how you will ensure that your kids turn out to be decent adults? Many times I feel lost, like the best I can do is keep these kids alive until they move out. However, I also feel that my children need more; God wants me to give them more.

This past week, during my Bible reading, I’ve read again the story of Esther. This book, in the Old Testament, tells of an incident that occurred in Jewish history. The king of Persia, having disposed of his queen, was in search of a replacement. The king’s attendants suggested that the entire empire be searched for beautiful young women; the young ladies would then be brought into the royal harem where they would receive beauty treatments. Following this time of preparation, the girls would be presented to the king. The woman that pleased the king the most would be made queen. The second chapter outlines how Esther was brought into the fortress of Susa, the location of the king’s harem. Esther found favor with the attending eunuchs; she was treated kindly, given a special menu and received twelve months of beauty treatments in the best place in the harem. When it was her turn to meet with the king, Esther was ready. She had been coached and prepared. She smelled good. She looked good. And she had the aura of royalty. The king loved her, even after their first meeting. He was delighted with her and promptly declared her queen.

What does this story have to do with parenting? A lot. It has changed how I have been parenting my six princesses this past week.

My home, anyone’s home, is like that fortress. We all belong to God, but when He calls us into action, will we be ready? Will our children be ready? Will the King be delighted with what we have to offer? Will we exude an aroma of praise or possess an aura of pride? I can prepare myself to meet with the King by reading His Word & practicing a lifestyle of praise.

What about my kids? As a mother it is my task to help my daughters become presentable princesses. They must be ready to listen to HIs voice & eager to obey; they must be beautiful with gentleness & kindness. They must know that their time is coming soon- the KIng will call for them. They must be ready. When a child is alone or hurting, will our children allow God to love others through them? Will our kids be characterized by obedience and gratitude?

There is another, more masculine, example to follow. The book of 1Samuel shows how a mother gave her son to the Lord, to be “the Lord’s helper,” (1Sam 2:18). And, when the Lord called on Samuel to be His prophet, Samuel was ready & obedient.

We are raising royalty. Will our charges be ready when God has need of them? No longer are we nagging parents; it is our privilege & responsibility to make sure that our children are aware of the fact that they were created for a purpose. I am not parenting for my own enjoyment; the mandate is much higher. The King desires that our children know Him and His commands. As parents, we cannot simply feed & clothe our children until they can do it themselves. We must give them the best ‘diet’ & ‘beauty treatments’ so they will be pleasing to the King when He calls for them.

no comments | tags: Esther, home, kids, parenting, princesses, ready, royalty, Samuel | posted in faith and ministry, life and family, parenting

Sep 23 2009

for parents only: unsolicited advice

deblara

what do you do when some concerned individual offers unsolicited advice about how you should handle your children? whether it is a relative or a bothered customer at the grocery store, do you run home and implement their suggestions right away? do you start yelling, “you have no idea what i deal with on a daily basis! i’ll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself!” do you go home and bawl yourself to sleep, feeling guilty for being such a horrible parent? or is your response something a little less extreme?

i hate it when people, albeit with good intentions, point out the flaws of my children and indicate that somehow this is my fault. “your girls fight too much.” “your two-year old shouldn’t still have a pacifier.” “i can’t believe you let your twins climb on the tables and counters.” “your six girls should help around the house more.” i feel that the problem pushed on me is to transform all these selfish people into selfless servants by the age of 2. i want to scream, “these are my children! would you like to take them home with you and make them perfect?!”

instead, i remain silent. i let the person share their concerns, trying to remain objective. like in the fable of the father & son who were traveling with their donkey to market, if i tried to do all the things the way that everyone suggested i would end up looking silly and inconsistent. and yet, it is hard when someone criticizes your children- you are the one who has shaped them, thus far.

but when you think about it, parents are not the sole molders of their children. first of all, children are not made with a cookie cutter- some are more compliant than others. there is also influence from media and peers at school or church. oh, and then there is the whole sin-nature thing; kids naturally don’t want to obey- they want things their way. so when a parent is faced with raising a child that is hell-bent on going the opposite direction, what should their priorities be?

i believe parents need to know what battles to fight- what kind of adults do you want your kids to become?

do you want them to know, trust, and obey God? then, by our example, we need to show them what it means to live this kind of life. and we teach our kids to obey God by expecting them to obey us, their parents, when they are young. i have my kids sit in a time-out chair (one minute corresponding to their age) even for having a fit. i want them to know what is acceptable and to realize that they are not in charge. we must also have realistic expectations for them; a 2 year-old cannot do the same things an 8 year-old can.

do you want your children to be kind and selfless? then encourage your child in the moments when you see them helping a sibling or loving someone when they are sad. give them opportunities to reach out in kindness at home (e.g. “your sister just fell down; would you go ask her if she is okay, and give her a hug.”) and to reach out to outsiders by looking for needs and finding ways to fill them (e.g. let them buy some groceries with money they have earned and take them to a local food bank).

do you want educated kids? read to them. do you want healthy kids? offer them healthy snacks and limit screen time. do you want kids you aren’t using a pacifier after age 2? you’ll have to ask someone else on that one.

just decide what is important to you and your spouse. yes, i want my kids to be safe. i want them to be respectful. i want them to fold ten loads of laundry by themselves. But, i also want them to know that i will love them no matter what they break; i will teach them what i can knowing that i will not always be their only teacher; i will live a life i want them to copy; i will say i’m sorry and ask for forgiveness when i am wrong.

so the bottom line is decide what you want to work on with your kids. and if someone comes to you and says, “where ARE your child’s clothes?!!” or some other unnecessary remark, you can just smile and think, “we’ll work on that issue in our own timing- every child is different.” because, honestly, nobody is really expecting an answer: they just think it would be helpful if they pointed out to you what you obviously haven’t noticed yourself.

so if you’re ever tempted to point out the shortcomings of someone else’s kids- don’t. unless of course you’d like to take the job over yourself. ’cause, let’s face it, parenting is a big job. and we all need as much grace and encouragement as we can get. have a great day!

5 comments | tags: advice, flaws, kids, parenting, unsolicited | posted in parenting

Sep 4 2009

popcorn prayer

deblara

Do you need some practical parenting tips? On Fridays I will be bringing helpful ideas for parents in the areas of cooking, cleaning and developing Christ-like character in your kids!

no comments | tags: kids, parenting, popcorn, prayer | posted in faith and ministry, parenting

Sep 2 2009

graham crackers and frosting

deblara

Recording a video seems to be easier for me than sitting down and eloquently typing my thoughts; it is quicker, too. So, here is my first installment of “Wednesday’s Wisdom for Parents.” Have a great day!

no comments | tags: discipline, frosting, fun, graham crackers, love, mercy, parenting, video, wisdom | posted in parenting, random stuff

Sep 1 2009

the format

abelara

it seems that anytime we go out in public with all our kids someone will inevitably ask us when we’re gonna get our own tv show. we don’t mind, we actually like the attention a little. and it’s fun to be able to show people that you can have a family larger than 2.2 kids and not be at each others throats or pulling our hair out. so with that in mind we’ve decided to give the site a little more attention.

if you saw deb’s devotional video yesterday you heard her mention during the end that we were giving this site a little more attention and we would both be contributing more often. we’ve even set up a schedule and themes for us to post on.

so here it is:
Mon:: devos with deb (devotional insights from a mom/wife/princess)
Tues:: married life (thoughts on marriage from a guy/dad/husband/pastor)
Wed:: parenting life (hints/tips/encouragement on parenting from a mom of SIX kids)
Thur:: FamilyLife Update (all the news/updates on our progress to moving to Little Rock by abe)
Fri:: house to home (recipes, family fun activities, cleaning/organizing tips by deb)
Sat:: pic/video of the week (a look into the lives of the laras chosen by abe)
Sun:: theacousticlife.com podcast (every 1st & 3rd sunday we’ll have a new episode posted)

if you have any questions or comments or specific topics you’d like us to discuss, send us an email: feedback@theacousticlife.com.

we hope this site will encourage you (and sometimes challenge you) to become a better family, have a stronger marriage, and get to know us a little better (even though we don’t have our own tv show).

1 comment | tags: blog, content, devotional, family, marriage, parenting | posted in random stuff