Sep 3 2009

THAT guy

abelara

this is a story about two persons.

do you remember THAT guy (or maybe THAT girl) in middle school that you avoided at all costs? maybe it was because you hated their guts (as middle schoolers are prone to do). or maybe they hated your guts. or maybe it was because he/she “liked” you and you weren’t returning the favor. or maybe they were just THAT guy that everybody avoided, just because they were weird. 

yeah, you know who i’m talking about. we’ll come back to THAT guy/girl.

now think back to first couple weeks in high school or maybe college. life is good. your classes are going well, you’ve made some new friends this year, and your teachers are ok too. the only problem is it’s saturday night, and you’re kinda bored. you didn’t have to work tonight, you’ve finished all your homework, but your friends aren’t answering their phones.  and the only thing to watch on TV is reruns of some lame sitcom, or some dumb reality show.  so you kinda waste the night away on facebook or youtube hoping something worthwhile will happen.

it doesn’t.

and to top it off you find out the next monday morning in class that all of you new friends went out that saturday night. they had fun, they went to a movie, and they decided spur of the moment to go camping for the weekend. they made memories.  

but you weren’t there.  and the only excuse they had was that they forgot about you.  or they didn’t have your number. or once they did remember they had already left camping and it would be too hard to explain where to find them even if they did have cell phone coverage.

yeah, you know the feeling i’m talking about.  you know what it feels like to be THAT guy/girl.

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sidenote: MPD = Ministry Partner Development – thats the name given to the process of us raising funds for becoming staff missionaries with FamilyLife

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over the course of the next year or so with us going through MPD we don’t want to feel like THAT guy in the first story. perhaps it’s simply perceived or maybe the feelings/actions are real.  but it would be easy for us to start feeling like people are avoiding answering our calls, not returning our emails/voicemails, not making eye contact for fear of thinking that we’re just gonna be asking for money again.

on the other hand, we don’t want you to feel like THAT guy in the second story.  the reason we’re doing what we’re doing is because we believe in the vision/values of FamilyLIfe and feel that it is what God is calling us to do in this season of our lives.  the reason we’re calling/emailing/writing letters is to give everyone we know an opportunity to join with us and with God in fulfilling that purpose; whether that’s through finances, or prayer, or referrals, or simply encouragement.

we don’t want to get to the end of our journey and have you wonder why didn’t they call me? why didn’t they want me on their team? did they think i was too poor? couldn’t pray well enough? didn’t know the right people to refer? wasn’t encouraging? or did they simply forget?

so that’s why we’re doing what we’re doing. 

and as for they money… it is an actual need that we need to meet in order to do what God’s called us to do. but we’re not trusting in people, we’re trusting in God.  if God hasn’t called you to support us financially, that’s ok. it won’t offend us.  we’d at least like a straight answer either way or an opportunity to answer anymore questions you may have.

so is it a deal? we’ll try not to make you feel like the “forgotten” guy and we’ll do our best not to make you feel like you have to treat us like the “weird” guy.

ok? 

ok.

Aug 22 2009

school supply reply

abelara

i have been quietly amused the last couple days as the first day of school approaches and parents are filling the stores to get the list.

i’m amused for a couple reasons. the first is because there’s like a bazillion things on the list that i never needed when i was in grade school.

secondly, because the kids read the lists and get all in a tizzy if the parents can’t get something on the list. as if they really needed a box of wipes, 4 DOZEN pencils, box of goldfish crackers, 6 – 1 inch 3 ring binders, and a big box of Kleenex for their education on the FIRST day of school.

sometimes the store has run out of an item (like big erasers, in our case), because there’s a bazillion other parents all getting the same items on the list. or perhaps because the parents simply can’t afford to get everything. including backpacks our family spent over $150 on school supplies this year. and that was for only 3 girls. i can only imagine how much we’ll spend once all 6 are in school. or sometimes it’s because the parents protest to buying everything on the list because they don’t think it’s needed for their child on the FIRST day.

and that leads me to my third reason for amusement. because the fact is those parents have good reason to protest. most schools are facing budget deficits and they put these things on “the list” and then put them all into one “pool” for the class to use.

so what amuses me about this is that our church is currently collecting school supplies to hand out to needy families. and so parents (and yes, i’ve heard more than one) who are complaining about having to buy all these items on “the list” for other people’s kids – because their parents aren’t responsible enough to get them – are at the same time feeling good about themselves for buying some school supplies for “other people’s kids”.

it’s kinda funny. :)

Download now or preview on posterous

the List.pdf (47 KB)


Jun 28 2009

Little Rock pt. 2

abelara

my previous post concerning our recent trip to Little Rock described what happened, a sorta timeline of actual events. this post will instead concentrate on my (abe) mental, emotional, and spiritual journey leading up to and while there.

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[in case you're wondering what FamilyLife's decision is about us joining staff: sorry, we can't tell you yet via this blog or anything else public on the inter-webs until July 1st. if you really wanna know call, text, or email me, or actually come over and visit in person, what a concept.]

our story with the Ministry of FamilyLife begins as far as I can remember in 1999. deb and I had only been married for a couple months when we were given a scholarship to attend a Weekend to Remember conference in Bellevue, WA. i was finishing up my senior year of college and deb still had another year till she finished up her AA. we were both working at a daycare not too far from the college and i wasn’t really sure what i wanted to do with our lives after i graduated. i had gone to school and gotten a BA in Biblical Literature. i knew that i was called to do full time ministry, but what i wasn’t sure of was where, how, or what?

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Feb 6 2009

i love you in russian

abelara

anyone who’s married knows that it takes a lot of work to make it a successful, happy, thriving relationship. our natural tendency is towards selfishness, not towards serving.

there’s been excellent books written on the “love languages”; words, touch, service, gifts, & time. and regardless of whether ’service’ makes it into your top one or two love languages, there’s no denying that it will be a part of your relationship at some time or another.

no matter what your top language is or what your partner’s top language is; you must intentionally “serve” that other person by speaking their language to them instead of your top language.

so to that end i’ve developed a method for me to combat my selfishness.

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Jan 22 2009

just write

abelara

you know you’re a writer when you’re staring at a blank page with “writer’s block.” people who aren’t writers don’t even put a blank page before them.

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i’ve got several topics that i’ve thought about writing a blog post about such as: “I love you in Russian”, life journaling, my recent fast of twitter/facebook, and conversing with the comments from my recent post about giving-debt-income.

but i don’t feel like writing about any of those right now. sorry if you were expecting more.

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Jan 7 2009

the 120 club

abelara

i hereby propose the inception of the “120-club”. what is it? i’m glad you asked. :)

to become a member of the 120-club your sole requirement is to write a minimum of 120 posts to your blog a year. that’s it. this works out to 10 posts a month, which i don’t think is unattainable or unrealistic. for some of you reading this that add to your blog on a daily basis, 10 posts a month seems kinda low. for the rest of us who would like to write more often but have really been slacking off since we joined twitter (or some other excuse like having more kids, etc) then 10 posts a month will be an effort. but it’s an effort i think we’ll feel good about doing when the year’s over.

there’s no requirement on how long the posts need to be, or if they include or exclude video or photographic posts. simply that you add content to your blog on a consistent basis.

it’s not a contest of who can write the most. it doesn’t matter if you write 10 per month to get to 120, or if you just wait till next december and cram all 120 posts during your Christmas vacation. as long as you achieve 120 by the end of the year, you’re in the 120-club. of course you can write more if you’d like, but you can start your own “club” for any number higher than 120.

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Nov 2 2008

the right to complain

abelara

so last week I wrote about the idea of purposefully NOT voting. i got a couple of comments mentioning that if i didn’t vote that it’d be “ok” as long as i didn’t complain.

i have a couple of responses to that.

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Oct 23 2008

not voting

abelara

my intentions today were to write a blog post on the way home on my iPhone in the vanpool. instead, I’ve been drowsy nodding in and out of sleep for the last 30min.

is choosing not to vote the same thing as exercising your right to vote? I don’t mean forgetting or being too busy or simply being apathetic. no, I mean to be so unconvinced of either candidate or choice that you don’t feel either one represents your values, beliefs, or convictions accurately.

that’s how I currently feel. perhaps I can stay awake for more of trip home tomorrow to develop the idea further.

till then, have you ever chosen NOT to vote?


Aug 31 2008

election thoughts 2008

abelara

the DNC (democratic national convention) has finished in denver, with the RNC (republican national convention) taking place this week in minneapolis-st. paul.

last weekend Obama picked senator Joe Biden of Delaware as his vice presidential running mate; and last friday McCain announced governor Sarah Palin of Alaska has his VP running mate.

i always find US presidential elections to be interesting. although, this is the first year that i’ve actually taken interest in the politics of candidates. Continue reading


Aug 18 2008

Emmanuel and Jessika Perez

abelara

Perez Wedding.JPG

yesterday (saturday 8.16.08) i had the privilege of participating in the beautiful wedding of Jessika Babcock and Emmanuel Perez. (aren’t they a cute couple!)

this was the second wedding that i’ve had a part in conducting – the first was my sister’s last year. hmm, two consecutive years of weddings in august. whose will i be a part of next year?? hint, hint @rhondaberghoff ;-)

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